Inspired by Tig

I found your scent at the supermarket. You smell of sandalwood and cigarette smoke. But when your sacred scent lingers on my clothes There is so much more than I could put into words. A secret sweetness to decipher. The Sandalwood soap bar in aisle 7 smells of the nape of your neck. I'll walk to the store by my house, And I'll sniff the sandalwood soap But I'll never buy it. As I inhale I'll remember your bed, I'll feel your hand around my waist, I'll see your smile Delicate and warm Almost invisible I'll never buy that bar of soap I'm so scared if I keep your scent in my home Steal your smell as my own I'll forget how you feel Because smell holds memories like no other I ache patiently to see you again I sense you in the wind For only a second The breeze blows that same scent of sandalwood soap Relief washes over me Safety is secured I'll look around, no sign of you remains But the lingering scent of sandalwood soap and something sickly sweet The ache returns, stronger now for the illusion of you can no longer satisfy the hunger And again I wait for your sacred scent to come back to me in time I am so afraid to write over memories of you I'll listen to your song To remember your eyes in that moment I want to envision the room we were in I miss that feeling of being beside you Listening to this serene song for the very first time, How you describe each detail How you told me You had placed it next to my name But I'll refuse to listen too long For every time I do a piece of that precious memory fades into my present The night you sent me away That familiar scent of sandalwood lingered in my hair. It was then I decided Never will I listen to your song And never will I walk to the supermarket for that bar of sandalwood soap. Soon will I learn with my effort and some time Trust is to be earned For these memories will no longer be mine Show More

Goodbye Earthshaker The world will have to rest quieter alongside you. You were turmoil and chaos and the centre of every crowd. I want to hope those hums of bodies would have the decency to leave your vacancy untouched. But that's not how this works. We used to break windows and with bloody knuckles throw away shards of glass. I think the futile hope we shared made us believe our little ritual would magically unhurt us. But you were hurt pretty bad. I think we broke about a thousand promises to each other and I'm sorry, but I could not keep watching you give up. I'm sorry, but I couldn't. So I will not honour our pact, the one that felt like clarity amongst the senseless desperate climb. I will keep living, and the spaces others forget belong to you, I will remember. I will keep your vacant seat alongside me. Despite what you thought, the world doesn't get better in the absence of your steps. The ones that shook this earth, or your hands that clawed the dirt, that wrote with certainty, that holds stars now. I hope you still have the little red book you were so happy to pour your soul into. I hope you're taking note of every truth you couldn't see before. Goodbye Show More

Were you the boy Who flew Too close to the sun Or did it dip its fiery lips Too low below the horizon Stealing sips of you We prayed The soil would hold your roots Long enough To bear your own weight Long enough To measure your age In growth rings What were our prayers But weightlessness Longing for form That soft bark you grew Around your sapling skin As scaffolding Holding your unprotected places Shed too soon In a season indifferent to cycles Between your source From watershed to sea Between bouancy and gravity There is a perfect pitch Was that breath you drew Holding you afloat In the tumble turn of turbulence The same squandered On a long note Beneath the surface? In the silky stillness Of your deeper water We see reflections still Of such country you mirrored There is your mother Teaching her cub The best branches for berries Face north How to fish a waterfall With the softest part of the paw Keeping the salmon whole A crumpled mist Hitching its sail cloth To an updraft Just above the tree line A lyre bird Mimics the chorus Of gumnuts Exploding after fires Bees and wild flowers Honour a contract Signed in pollen Soon followed rapids A fallen forest And a misery of log jams Silted sands And stranded water You were a torrent Overflowing containments Built to buffer drier years But those walls were too porous To dam the unfathomable depth Of a boy Born a wild river Free as snow melt After winter Show More

I hope I never have to live in a world where we can\'t lie down next to one another and read poetry between glimpses of real life. I hope I never have to live in real life where the poetry I write is poetry and not understanding. I’m full of hope but empty-handed and reaching for a pen filling beautiful silence with truth others believe is ugly. I feel safe any place I am free to bleed while I breathe. The bedsheets are blue and the sunset is timeless. Your bedsheets used to be orange and you hated them. Now it is summer, your comforter is gone And the bed is blue. We lie taking turns reading Charles Bukowski poems and time ticks past comfortably. I’ll occasionally catch glimpses of my swollen legs or pink face in the mirror and remember who I am and when I am and how I am, holding a cigarette I won’t toke so you can turn the page again. I will think about kissing you and won’t because imagining a life where we kiss no longer serves me. We hug and I feel my limbs sink into your divots like concrete. Show More

Track https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZo3wn1T5cS/

Often now I feel this space, pressed against my chest down my torso to my hip on my side Phantom hair between my fingers he lingers on my mind, my sweet baby boy, the words ring on my tongue but there is no-one to receive them when your life’s been said and done. And I wonder - often now, where all that love should be, because it was meant for him and it hurts to stay with me. And when I live to be one hundred you’ll be a footnote from the world. I cannot stand that cruelty when you were worth its weight in gold. I miss you Show More

Track: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DcQxtXEP63t/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&xtok=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==